
It’s online and available.
Okay, folks, this is… Hmm. Well, I was digging around in my files this evening (damn, it’s almost 11pm) and I found something which I think was supposed to be longer and never got finished. I’m fairly sure it was supposed to be longer and a lot sadder, and maybe one day it will be, but for now there’s about a page of it and I thought I’d share it. It is that time of year…
Uh, also, I updated the What I’m Up To page today. I’m working on getting the next Thaumatology book going, hence me finding this. Here we go. All spelling errors are intended. Hope you’re as amused as I was when I found it.
A Letter to Santa
By Lilith Carpenter, aged 7¾
Dear Santa,
I know I am a half-sucky-bus, but I think I should be allowed to write a letter to you, even if Miriam Wooster says I cant, but everyone says how she smells so I think I can because she smells. So I am writing you this letter so that you will no what I want fro Chissmas.
Mummy says that you only bring presents to good little girls. I am a good little girl even if I am a half-sucklybus. I help my Mummy with the dishes. I dry dishes real good and I have not broken one this month. I have not pulled Miriam Wooster’s hair for a week even if she smells and calls me a big fat demon. I am not a demon. I am a half-sucsybus.
Okay what I would like for Chissmas is a Daddy. I would like a Daddy because all the other children have one, even if they do not all live with them. I dont have a Daddy at all. Well I do but he is in demonland with the other demons and I cant even visit him or call him on the telyphone. I would like a Daddy so I can be like everone else. But most of all I would like a Daddy because my Mummy needs him to. I see her looking sad sometimes and I know having a Daddy to be with would make her happy and I want Mummy to be happy so I would like a Daddy.
And a pony.
Thank you Santa.
Love, Lilith.
~~~
By Lilith Carpenter, aged 8¾
Dear Santa,
Thank you for sending me my Daddy. He is a great Daddy and tells me the best bedtime stories.
My spelling has got a lot better in the last year. I am amazed you could read last year’s letter. I suppose you have a lot of practice reading bad writing.
I have been a really good girl this year. Daddy says I will grow up to be a good little succubus, just like Tef. Mummy says I have to stay a good little girl, otherwise I will be a right little madam. I hope I can be a good little succubus and a good little girl.
Thank you for sending my Daddy.
Please could I have the pony now.
Love, Lilith.
~~~
By Ceridwyn Brent, aged 9
Dear Santa,
Look, I realise you’re a mythical, pseudo-religious character created to Christianise a pagan myth-figure, but our teacher says we have to write a “Letter to Santa” to put up on the pin-board, so here is mine. Don’t get me wrong, I love presents just as much as the next kid, but I know you don’t come down the chimney to deliver them. For one thing, Dad told me years ago you were fictional, and even if my parents wanted to be a bit secretive about putting the presents out, I spotted them sneaking down from the attic last year.
Okay, now we have that out of the way, I guess I should give you the list. I’d like:
A My First Alchemy Set.
A thaumometer of my own. Dad has loads, but I’d like one. A proper one, not a kid’s one.
A copy of the Junior Thaumatologist’s Encyclopaedia.
Oh, and a pet dragon.
Thanks, Ceri.
Aka: The Sanity Report.
Sanity Status: Mild hallucination with some delusions of normality.
I am, to some extent, in my new home. I have internet and all my computers are attached to it now (via a 20m CAT5 cable in one case). I’m about in a position to do some more writing, intermixed with continued unpacking of boxes.
I still aim to have Gunwitch: Rebirth out before Christmas. After that… I think I’m going to do the next Thaumatology book. I know, it’s been said before. I’m going to have a good, hard try at it because I think I’m in the mood. Update on whether that’s working once the Gunwitch book is out.
It’s that time of year: time for an unconventional witch.

In this case, a Gunwitch in a dress with cobweb patterns on it. More about her when the horror has died down. (Obviously, I mean moving house. Halloween isn’t scary anymore.)
Well, not mine, I wouldn’t presume, but Dione’s open to offers.

Okay, not really.
This is an update on my current entropy level, i.e. how much chaos do I have in my system. Current entropy level is: Imminent universal heat death.
Anyway, Be My Valentine will be officially released on Sunday, that’s the 30th. That’s good: vampires just before Halloween. I’m currently working through the edits and I don’t have cover art yet (such is the state of my life). If I can get everything organised sometime tomorrow, then I’ll put the book up early, but I’m only going to promise it’ll be up before midnight on Sunday. As soon as it’s live, I’ll let you all know.
My house move is progressing to the point where I know I’m going to be largely without internet from November 5th to 11th. If anyone’s trying to contact me during that period… Well, I probably won’t know about it. At least I won’t have any distractions to stop me doing moving stuff. However, expect me to be mildly insane on the 12th.
Be My Valentine, the second in my vampire series, is out for proof reading. You should be seeing it in the shops next weekend (unless you buy from B&N or Apple, that takes a bit longer). I’m probably safe saying that, and in saying that Gunwitch: Rebirth will follow in (mid-)December. Everything else is up in the air right now.
I’m trying to organise my tax for the year and move house. I can’t sleep (hence writing this at 03:35) because I’m worrying over tax documents and completion dates. The only times I can sleep without my brain throwing up every problem in the book are when I’m too tired to think. Annoyingly, this tends to be during the day, when I should be getting stuff done. Writing and plotting I can do more or less any time, but calling my accountant needs office hours.
Gives me some binge-watching time, so it’s not all bad, I guess. I did all of Sleepy Hollow seasons 2 and 3 in about four days. I have a horrible feeling that’s going downhill for season 4, but there you go. Then Blindspot turned up for a reasonable price on Amazon, so I blasted through the first season of that. Of course, I’m probably looking at a year before I can get season 2, which is annoying (probably).
So, my life is chaos, TV, and insomnia, but you should get a new book next week.
Posted in Gunwitch, News, Opinion, Princeps Venator
Tagged amazon, Blindspot, insomnia, release date, Sleepy Hollow, TV
Have I ever mentioned how much I hate time travel stories?
Okay, there’s Doctor Who, but that treats time the same way Star Trek treats space: it’s a way of getting between adventures. And it never really treats its time travel very seriously anyway, and that’s usually the only way I can stomach time travel plots.
It isn’t that time travel makes for bad stories, it’s more that you need a really good writer to avoid turning a time travel story into one, huge, horrible, gaping plot hole. It’s especially bad when TV writers get their hands on the idea. I have never seen time travel done on TV, seriously, in any manner worth watching. It’s kind of annoying. Films don’t generally do better. I think the problem is that it’s really hard to write something involving time travel, that’s the typical kind where the time travellers are changing things, where you don’t need degrees in physics and philosophy to put it all together without making it sound stupid.
Let’s take the classic one as an example. It’s been used in a fair number of books and films, and it’s the basis for many more. Ray Bradbury’s A Sound of Thunder. I know, venerable science fiction author, big deal. I shouldn’t be going there, but… it just makes no damn sense. Time travel is used by people with more money than sense to go back in time so that they can hunt dinosaurs. They must be very careful not to change anything important (they hunt dinosaurs which are going to die soon after anyway) because tiny changes can cause unforeseen and massive changes back in the present. Someone steps on a butterfly and the world changes. Frequently the story is represented as bringing the dinosaurs back, but that’s not what actually happens in the original story, just in many of the remakes.
So, what’s the problem? Well, in the original story the changes are too subtle, or too extreme, depending on your point of view. Human society has been changed by the death of a single butterfly. Even assuming large-scale chaos theory-type conditions, changes to human society are too subtle while the probability that humans would be wiped out, along with the time travel system seems both unlikely and yet more realistic. If you switch it and bring the dinosaurs back, well, that’s beyond ludicrous: the dinosaurs were wiped out by large-scale climate change, possibly involving a huge meteorite impact: if you can stop a space rock hitting Earth by stepping on a butterfly… Well, just no.
Other plots tend to leave gaping holes, or be illogical. I’ve been enjoying The Flash recently. Good series, I like it. However, the time travel stuff thus far has had more holes in it than I care to think about. What got me into writing this post was a film I just watched on Netflix called ARQ. That features a Groundhog Day-style time loop, but it’s done very seriously and those only ever work played for laughs. (For the record, Xena and Stargate SG1 have done Groundhog Day episodes that I thoroughly enjoyed, but they were played for laughs, which is the w I like it.) Also, I was discussing time travel stories with a friend recently and I mentioned that I had written a time travel story once and I had reread it very recently…
And that gets me to the Gunwitch. She was a character I created for the Going Rogue supplement to the City of Heroes MMO. As with many of the characters I created for that game, bits of her have made it into my books, but I did a lot of pretty good stuff for Gunny and I was reminded of her recently. She was definitely one of my favourite characters and I decided that I was going to bring her back from video game oblivion. The setting had to change, of course, which does change the character a little, but I can get pretty much all that Gunwitch goodness out. Assuming nothing goes wrong – and it’s going pretty well so far – the first book will be out November/December and will be called Gunwitch: Rebirth for two reasons, one in-continuity and the other because I’m bringing her back for the book.
And one of the Gunwitch stories I won’t be doing again, sadly, is one I called Murder in the Orchard. In that one our plucky heroine is sent back in time to 1927 to investigate a string of mysterious murders which happened in an English country village. They know they have to send her back because (drum roll) they have a picture of her taken in 1927 at one of the crime scenes, so she has already investigated the crimes, she just needs to get there to do it. It was a closed loop time travel story; going back in time was simply fulfilling history which was known to have happened. It’s one of the few kinds of time travel plot I can handle without my teeth itching. Plus… I really wanted to write an English cosy mystery story with a sci-fi element…
Anyway, another wall of text there, I feel you deserve a picture so here’s the latest concept art for the Gunwitch. There will be more about her later, but that’s what you’re getting for now.

Tagged characters, City of Heroes, concept art, Gunwitch, MMO, Netflix, sci-fi, science fiction, time travel

Out now.
Before the guessing game starts… That’s obviously Fox on the left. On the right is Yuriko Fukui, looking displeased. The middle character is more of a type than a specific character; read the book to find out more.
This is a quick post to let you know what’s happening. It should have been a little longer and had the cover for The Ghost in the Doll in it, but I’m just looking at changing the cover, which is going to take several hours, so…
The Ghost in the Doll, the next Fox Meridian book will be out very soon, probably sometime tonight. My ability to sleep at night appears to have taken a holiday: I’m sleeping all sorts of weird hours and not exactly happy about it. Trying to get back to normal seems to be impossible at the moment (I’ve tried all the methods I know of and it ain’t happening), but it does mean I’ve all night to work on getting the book out.
That leaves me trying hard to get something ready for October. This is proving difficult and the one which is looking like it’s going to make it (currently) is from right out of left field. I’ll tell you more when I know for sure. I’m in the process of trying to move house at the moment, and that isn’t helping matters. I’m not sure when the physical move will happen, but that could provide more disruption. These things are sent to try us, right?